I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
