Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
