with your own penis?
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
