just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
