Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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