he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
