Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I just googled if crying burns calories
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
