where am i from again
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
