Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
So vagazzling was a success
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
