some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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