Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i came on her dog
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
