ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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