when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize