I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
