I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
i think im in europe. pls send help
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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