Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
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