Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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