So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
