I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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