Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
