i need an iv and a liver transplant
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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