Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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