I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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