Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
