3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
