She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
