You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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