Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
