I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
