I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
