I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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