She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
