No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
