You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
