Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
