I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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