If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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