well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize