I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
