Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
The struggles of a small town man whore
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
