I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
