Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
