32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
