Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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