dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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