I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
