the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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