I didn't shave. On purpose
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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