Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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