dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
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