Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
People in love make me want to vomit
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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