you traded sex for a burrito?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
