Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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