Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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