mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
