I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
