Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
