The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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