wat bout pragnant strippers??
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
