waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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