everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
